Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Israel and Its Lack of Organizational People Skills

I apologize in advance for the massive amount of cursing there will be here, but it's Israel's motto and I have to be as close to the source as possible. This is a post I felt was mandatory to put up in case anyone out there is curious how "sharp" and "friendly" Israel is. Don't get me wrong, Israel had a strong army (I would use "has" but I'll get to that in a minute), their medical department is top notch, and... that's it. Everything else is pretty much crap service unless you're their best friends or family of family of family, seeing as Israel is one giant Mob family that will rob and beat you senseless should you give them the wrong tone of voice.

Never in my life had I ever dealt with assholes who refuse to help, smart ass waiters who are allowed to be complete jerks and expect a high tip, and have a highly complex form of organization from the program itself and it's partners. Someone should honestly point out the flat out stupidity this nation seems to run on.

Customer Is, Was, And Will Always Be Right-- Unless You're In Israel.
This is a train of thought that is almost impossible for any Israeli to notice. This could be argued seeing as my parents are both loving that train of thought and have successfully managed to snag amazing deals out of this (furniture, cars, bills, etc) because it's a simple train of thought, "You want money? You want a lot of money? Appease the customer, and the money will flow." But not in Israel, in Israel it's "Take the deal, or leave it. Fuck you, because I run this convenient store!" And the amount of time I had Israelis yell at me is psychotic. Forget the whole "but they love you like family" bullshit because, like I said, unless you're friend of the family's family, then you're just dirt to them. In the literal sense since one time my mom slipped on a wet floor in the mall (with no sign stating the floor was slippery) and injured her back, not a single Israeli came to pick her up. And only AFTER she fell did they put the sign up. We could sue to our hearts content but Israel has the whole "fuck you" attitude, so I don't recall if we succeeded or not in that case.

Another example of Israel and it's lack of Humanity was how I was ordering lunch one day, and I always had this one waitress who practically became my friend due to the massive amount of time I went there for lunch and showed me which menu to pick up to order. The other day I go to the same restaurant where there was a new waitress, an older lady who looks bored with her life. She sees me picking up the menu and yanks it out of my hand and shoves me a shitty take out version of the exact same menu. This version was harder to read and I honestly wished I photographed it to prove my point, so after a few minutes of struggling to find the meal I already saw in the other menu, the woman begins to shout at me that I'm taking to long and should just leave. I argued back saying why can't I just look at the other menu because this one is too hard to read, so she yanks my shitty take out menu, throws it on the counter and shoves the other one in to my hand and mutters "Happy, princess?" I ordered my meal and left.

Fuck you, you're not getting a tip from me, you old hag.

The World's Best Army of High Schoolers 
Lies, lies, and more lies. Israel's foundation is that by the striking age of eighteen, boys and girls MUST join the armies; no ifs, ands, or buts. But here's the thing: eighteen. You're fresh out of high school, you're free form learning, and you're free from teachers hounding you night and day, and you're heading straight to boot camp. At eighteen the army has new recruits come in and take positions such as passports, visas, and new aliyahs (people who are moving to live permanently in Israel). Holy crap. I stated my story about my passport and why Israel is hell bent on my arrest (I'm cleared by the way, happy days after THREE YEARS), so when I handed my passport to a family friend to get it cleared we found it what was more or less the case why Israel was having the hardest time updating the computer.

So apparently, one of their solders, an eighteen year old one, managed to mistype my number. Mistype led to a mess up in the system which led to a mess up with the army and me. I have the paper, I'm legally in the clear, but it would be such a huge pain in the ass that come time I leave I have to be pulled aside, show the paper, answer a few questions and THEN bored the plane. I would much rather have it all done then and there. It really baffles me why it's so hard, in the digital age where everyone and their moms knows how to tweet and post a status on Facebook, to simply re-type my number in correctly. Israel is also known to be technologically advance, I should add.

Just Answer The Fucking Question!
Warning: lots of use with the word "fuck".
So this is geared more at my program and it's pathetic excuse that they call organizational adult skills, and really the bread and butter of this post. When we first came to the program they gave us cellphones to use in Israel because it's cheaper, however when it will come the time to leave (mine is Aug. 9 hopefully) I will need to return the phone. So today at a meeting I asked how the process of it goes; this resulted in everyone pretty calling me an idiot and saying so "obviously" that it's on my box in which I received the phone, and if not there then the website! DUH. Stupid twenty one year old American who interns at silly video games, how stupid is SHE? HAHAHAHAHA!

Allow me to show you why I asked this question because first of all, I ask questions because they, for the most part, have a huge purpose. I don't just pull this kind of questions out of the blue to hear myself speak:

First of all this, there are literally TWO numbers to call from! Which one do I call?! And it's not to the company, it's just the toll number to dial. So THAT'S not the numbers!

That's my number, I'm not stupid to call my own number.

Now THIS one was beautiful. There is literally SIX numbers to go by on that one piece of paper alone. And that small card on the right has FOUR numbers to work with. Yup! SO obvious!

So clearly the box has failed me, time to check the website! That should be easy!

That's the two pages it led me to when I clicked "Equipment Return", there is not a SINGLE phone line to contact.

I should check out the contact list, that should be helpful! I apologize here because this was when I lost hope in Israel and humanity.


CLEARLY just telling me which number to call is SO much work and me as an adult should be able to handle it just fine! I would say I would ask the main person in charge, but I did and what has transpired was the end result. I trusted her and she managed to successfully make me look like a freaking idiot for not understanding this rubix cube of numbers. So screw that noise, I'm going to call the head of the program as a whole, not Ricky. Hopefully I will get the proper response other wise I'm just going to throw this phone to the nearest hobo.

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